NBB Launches the BDB Today!

We have big news to share with you today.

After a lot of difficult conversations and honest soul-searching, we are excited to announce a major transition for North Bridger Bison: we are shutting down both our bison ranch and our bison meat business.

While raising bison and working to advance Regenerative Agriculture has been rewarding beyond our wildest dreams, we feel it is time to turn to a bigger – and more impactful – challenge.  

Specifically, as of today, we are launching our new Biodiversity Destruction Burger – The BDB!

Developed in a sterile, windowless factory in Silicon Valley by a team of tech executives and international money-launderers, the BDB is the next frontier in food.  

The BDB is completely disconnected from any and all natural processes; modern-day food for modern-day humans.

It’s comprised of 87 ingredients, only 6 of which you can pronounce. Most notably, its foundational ingredients are corn, soy, wheat, and the tears of our grandchildren.

According to lead investor Charlton Windsor IV, “This is just huge on so many levels. Sure, it’s going to help speed up the extinction crisis – and it absolutely tastes like shit – but me and my pals are going to get absurdly rich off the BDB, and that makes me scream with joy.”  

Once the patents are in place, all of the nondisclosure agreements have been signed, and our 9 lawsuits have been resolved, the BDB will hit the aisles of every Whole Foods in America, where it will dupe well-intentioned consumers into purchasing this unhealthy, processed nightmare of a food product.

“Nature is so overrated,” said Samuel Harrison, the owner of Sammy’s Vegan Taco Emporium in Reno, Nevada. “At the end of the day, who honestly cares about birds, butterflies, animals, fish, or really any species of wildlife at all? Humans know best, and if it’s vegan, plant-based and made by humans, we know it’s superior to anything found in nature – I absolutely can’t wait to feature The BDB on our menu!”  

We are thrilled about this momentous pivot for our business, and we cannot wait for you to try our new Biodiversity Destruction Burger.

Thank you, as always, for your support.

And now onward with The BDB — and Happy April 1st!